Aloha,
As I sit down to write today, I find myself inspired to ask you this question: do you remember who you are? It’s a question that is fresh in my mind, since I am finishing my first book and preparing to share even more of the journey I have been on, in a quest for my authentic self.
What I have found during my journey of self-exploration is that we sometimes lose or suppress parts of ourselves; we find ourselves wanting to fit into our culture, peer groups, jobs, families, and relationships. We start off being ourselves, but then somehow we repress aspects of who we are as we observe what is valued by society or honored by our tribe. It seems we then start to try on different hats to see how they fit. This part of our journey is a time of exploring how we will blossom. “Hmmm…that seems interesting,” we say to ourselves as we play a role or character that is somewhat different. We try to see how we fit into this world, and we look at how we will create our community and connect with others. On this journey of role-playing, we sometimes shelve pieces that may not be valued by those we are interacting with at the time. While parts of us are expanding, other parts of us are put in the shadows, so others do not see them.
As our journey progresses, I see how important it is to take the time to check back in with yourself, which gives you an opportunity to see how you are doing, or to see if you are staying in conscious contact with the essence of who you are. This may sound a little strange, but I think of it as taking inventory of the pieces of your authentic self.
I recently met with a new friend. Well, actually, I had met her briefly several times before, but it was my first time having an in-depth discussion with her. I ran into her inside of Starbucks, where we finally had a chance to sit and get to know each other better. We were both writing a book and enjoying sharing stories about our learning process.
As we got to know each other a little better, and she started to understand who I am and what I do, she invited me to see something at her home. As we drove to her place, she told me the story of how one day she sat down and thought about who she was. She then decided to try to describe herself using only seven words. She went on to tell me she wrote the seven words down on a small piece of paper, placed it in a little bottle along with tiny seashells, and sealed the bottle with a cork.
As we entered her home, she anxiously led me to the bottle. She said she had never shown anyone else the list and wanted to share it with me. As she read the list out loud, I saw how excited she was to be sharing her deepest insights about herself with someone who valued such information. She had understood through our conversations how much I valued the uniqueness of each of us and the importance of staying connected to our true self.
I had not known my new friend long, and as I watched her read her prized list to me, I could see she had a good sense of who she was, and perhaps even more importantly, she valued what made her who she was.
I thought to myself, what a great exercise to suggest to others. How often do we honor ourselves with taking the time to take a loving look at who we really are and reconnect with our beautiful uniqueness? When we do, how often are we brave enough to embrace all of our pieces and share them with the world without regard to what others may think or value. For instance, how many men are brave enough to claim and value sensitivity, if that is one of their traits?
Later, I asked a friend to write a list to describe himself. I was pleasantly impressed with how open he was in sharing, what I thought was, a very accurate description of himself. It was full of love and honor for his true essence. I then asked him to write what he thought were seven words that would describe the real essence of me. I was even more surprised when he rattled off seven words that beautifully described me at a very deep level of my being. The list of words included the following: loving, respectful, entertaining, happy, active, trusting, honest. I sat quietly for a few moments with this information to see if these words resonated with me. As I did, I felt a smile release from my heart and express itself upon my face. Yes, they fit me well. How exciting it felt to spend the time, especially with another person, to reconnect and celebrate the gift of who we are at such a deep level.
With all this said, perhaps you are inspired to take some time to honor yourself and write down seven traits that describe who you are. I am not talking about what you do or what job descriptions you have, but words that describe your being. As you are doing this, notice if you are openly expressing all of these traits, or try and see if there are some that you keep tucked away in your daily living.
As you enjoy this simple exercise, know you are taking a first step in finding and honoring all of your pieces; you are remembering the awesomely unique, powerful being you are. Then, if you are inspired to do so, keep this list somewhere special to review from time to time, whenever you want to honor the loving beauty you are.
In Loving Light,
Angela Bushman